*EYE PROTECTION SUGGESTED
(via chancemaycrown)
this is 911 state your emergency
YES I NEED HELP IMMEDIATELY I CAN’T FIND MY LIZARD
911 I THINK MY LIZARD IS BROKEN
YOU THINK YOU’VE GOT PROBLEMS? MY PHONE SEEMS TO HAVE LOST IT’S LEGS
911 I CAN’T GET MY PHONE OFF THE RECEIVER
MA’AM YOUR PHONE NEEDS TO BE IN THE UNLOCKED POSITION AND MAY NEED TO BE PROVIDED WITH ADDITIONAL HARDWARE TO FUNCTION CORRECTLY.
YES HELLO 911 CAN YOU HEAR ME I DROPPED MY HEADSET IN THE WATER DO YOU READ
TO BE HONEST 911, I AM NOT SURE WHAT MY PHONE IS DOING
911 MY PHONE IS FACING THE WRONG WAY AND I CAN’T GET IT TO TURN AROUND.
yes 911 hello all these people are crazy
(via onecelestialbeing)
- Person: What state do you live in?
- Me: Denial.
how weird is it to have pets though like a random animal just lives in your house and you can’t communicate with it but you both just accept it
I KNOW
(via onecelestialbeing)
(via onecelestialbeing)
Despite the contradictory advice circulated in the late ’90s, if you wanna be my lover, please do not get with my friends.
(via onecelestialbeing)
also today some kid mentioned the red hot chili peppers and i was like “oh i love that band” and they were like “oh yeah name five songs by them” and i listed five of my favourites and he hesitated and then said “maybe you do like them”
Why is it on a pieCE OF CHEESE
Why do you make your senteNCES CAPITALIZED AS THEY PROGRESS
because it proviDES A SENSE OF SUDDEN ANGER/REALIZATION
Still want to know why this is on a piece of cheese
(via onecelestialbeing)
